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Ah, a tender stalk of luscious celery, bursting with the taste of PRETTY MUCH JUST WATER AND ALSO THAT GARDEN-Y TASTE THAT ISN'T A BIT SATISFYING! Not only that, all those little watery underground strings get caught in your teeth like green dental floss.

It's a very bad bad bad idea to get on the scale when you're on a plan like this one. The body has its own mysterious way of doing things. It's plotting and scheming about how to keep its weight, for one thing. It's not going to give anything up until it has to.

What I'm trying to say is, I did the bad bad bad thing today and got on the scale. Official weigh-in is on Monday, but I got on today. I'm a half pound more than when I started, dear reader. I'm trying to take it in stride. It means nothing. It's a weird hormonal fluke. I'm not going postal. I'm not out on my roof yelling SOMEONE MUST DIE!

Breakfast: Stonyfield Yogurt 130
2 big mugs of coffee and half-and-half dollops 160

Lunch: Weight Watchers Angel Hair Pasta--not my favorite--230
Slice of toast--- 100

Dinner: Lean Cuisine penne pollo or whatever the fk it is 330
Big Pile of Stuff, including can of green beans 70
canteloupe and honeydew medley 150
Dollop of Paul Newman's raspberry vinagrette, may he rest in peace 100
Breath Savers 60 (at least)

TOTAL: 1330
EXERCISE: 10 miles hard jogging HAHAHAHA just wanted to see if you were paying attention
2 miles up heartbreak hill walking
OPTIMISM: 9
HUNGER: not too bad
MAIN BITCH: Salad dressing should not count.

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