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Valentine's Day is a holiday for Hallmark and florists. No one else benefits nearly as much as they do.

Having said that, there aren't many problems between a man and a woman that can't be at least partially solved by a dozen long stemmed red roses.

ARE YOU KIDDING? HOW HYPOCRITICAL! DO YOU THINK BIG PROBLEMS SUCH AS LYING AND CHEATING AND GAMBLING AWAY THE MORTGAGE CAN BE SOLVED BY A BUNCH OF MOLDY OLD FLOWERS THAT WILL BE DEAD INSIDE OF TWO DAYS?

Nothing makes a woman feel more special than red roses.



YEAH, OKAY, WHATEVER.


It's particularly fun to receive flowers at work.

YEAH? YOU BETTER HOPE HE ISN'T SENDING A BETTER BUNCH TO SOMEONE ELSE DOWN THE ROW FROM YOU!

Try to remember that red is the color of love.






Don't fall for other shades. White, for instance, stands for purity and innocence.

PURITY AND WHAT? A MAN CAN GET THAT WITHOUT A CREDIT CARD. THIS COLOR BUSINESS IS BULLSHIT. WHAT DOES PURPLE MEAN ANYWAY? SORRY ABOUT THE BRUISES?


Candy is another traditional choice.


A GUY SEES YOU DIETING AND SUFFERING AND SAVING UP CALORIES FOR ONE LOUSY FISTFUL OF DORITOS AND HE SENDS YOU CANDY? NOTHING SHOWS HE ISN'T PAYING ATTENTION TO YOU MORE THAN THIS! OF ALL THE SELECTIONS, THIS COULD BE A TIRE-SLASHING EVENT!

Godiva chocolates are an excellent choice and suggest richness and elegance.




IT MEANS HE WANTS TO SEE YOU NAKED ON A HORSE.

I think I'd better clear out of here, dear reader, as the hordes are becoming restive.

THE WHORES ARE WHAT?

I'm trying to be honest and not tell lies.


Have a great Valentine's Day, whatever comes your way.
A bientot
love,
becky

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