Five Hundred Dollars

| at 5:13 AM

Avatar: 3D That's how much I would accept to view Avatar. I know, I know, I know. Everyone says it's great. That's why my fee is not a full thousand. But a) I already wear glasses and how stupid would those 3D spectacles look on my face? and b) I don't like sci-fi c)I don't like fantasy d) I don't like cartoons or any movie where the characters have wrinkly, weird-color, computer-enhanced faces. If I can't get a computer to enhance my own face, and wouldn't I love that, then forget it
The Wolfman There is something about a rampaging werewolf that bores me to tears. Can't I go to a zoo and see that? Can't I read National Geographic? I don't knowthe first thing about this film except the title. It's enough. $500.
Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakuel Also for $500 I would grudgingly sit through the sequel to ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS. I believe they have called it THE SQUEAKQUEL and I am gagging now. I can only imagine the bedraggled parents sitting there in the dark, wishing for death. Make this one $500 and a flask of blackberry brandy.

In other news, dear reader, it was Fashion Week in NYC last week and as usual, the styles were unfathomable, the models cadaverous (except see below), and the hype unwarranted.
TREND THAT WILL MAKE WOMEN COMFORTABLE THIS FALL: Thick, warm, and forgiving, cable knit sweaters showed up everywhere this week on runways from Michael Kors to Derek Lam. Pictured: Chunky sweater and skirt combination by Derek Lam. Is this Derek Lam model wearing gloves? Is it an all-in-one sweater? I have never heard of that. How do you do dishes in this thing? How do you thumb through a book? There could be problems in all areas of your life. Our minds are racing.
BEST VISION OF FASHION’S FUTURE: We can only hope that the minimalist creations of Narciso Rodriguez someday become reality. His sparse, primarily black collection stripped away the unnecessary trappings of fashion, leaving nothing but future filled with sleek dresses, and helmet-like hats. Pictured: An outfit from the Narciso Rodriguez collection. This I think is kind of cool. I would wear this. I can only imagine the cost. By Narciso Rodriguez, and I love that first name.

WORST OVER-THE-TOP FASHION PRESENTATION: Former Heatherette designer Richie Rich teamed with Pamela Anderson for yet another tacky, glittery extravaganza (pictured). It seems as if Rich has fallen into a rut, and even worse, the show started nearly an hour late. We stayed late for this? BEST OVER-THE-TOP FASHION PRESENTATION: More than 70 models showed Moncler’s new Grenoble line while standing on several stories of scaffolding at the 59th Street Piers Golf Club. The European jacket company thought of everything, including offering thermoses filled with hot chocolate and mulled cider to guests who stood outside in the cold to view the collection. May I speak for all of us? GOOD GRIEF. Pamela Anderson has combined with Richie Rich for some line of clothing and I think we all know that must have been an alcohol-fueled discussion . I think we owe it to Pam to lower our eyes. She's getting into Ru Paul territory if you ask me.
If Pam was standing in line at Hannaford's (dressed normally), I'm sure she would be quite slender next to everyone else. But here? At Fashion Week? She looks the size of two of the regular cadavers. She has enough breast tissue for three of them.

Boston Red Sox catchers Jason Varitek and Victor Martinez participate in drills on the first official day of workouts for pitchers and catchers.
Nothing says "hope" like "pitchers and catchers report." I love that word "report." It has a military sound to it; it suggests regimen and discipline and a plan for the future. I love all of those things. Catchers shown here practicing their vaudeville finale. (thanks to Boston Globe for all pix)
A bientot, dear reader.
A rivedercci con amore,
becky



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