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Maybe the thing I hate the most about buying a car is The Survey.

Or perhaps I should say The Dreaded Survey.

They start with you in the showroom as soon as you come to a deal.

"I've taken care of you, haven't I, Mary?"

"Wouldn't you say your experience has been excellent, Mary?"

"I know you got the wrong car at first, Mary, and then had to wait over a week and then had to negotiate again, but wouldn't you say I was excellent at my job?"

"You know, we don't get paid if we don't get 'excellent' marks on the survey."

"You know, the survey is my report card, Mary. I am rated on how I do on the survey."

They start groveling and poking their heads over the cubicle to ask if you want soda or coffee. They make sure you will get a free oil change and infer that you could bargain for further free service calls.

Jesus.

They start calling you at home too. "You know, Mary, [car brand] is going to be calling you soon with a little survey that they will ask you to take, one that evaluates our dealer performance here at [dealership name].

You think to yourself, no way in hell am I saying that they were excellent. But then you think I am going to be a service customer here for a long time. It's convenient for me. I don't want them to hate me. What if they did?

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