obama us and tattoos

Well, okay, SOME of the best. Okay okay, I only have four here, but they are good ones. Ready?




"Not everyone has the lechery of sitting around and not working."

"Hillary Clinton's champagne is winning over voters."

"Societal morays are causing this problem."

"A lot of people complain about the immortality of the death penalty."

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It happens when you aren't looking. Styles change. You were hammering away on the curtains or changing the toilet seat (next weekend, I promise). I always thought this was the perfect look.


But it isn't. It's square now. Who would have guessed?

You can buy this stuff at www.Montpellier-Beauty.co.uk


They ask you now, those manicurists, square? You want square? Well, no. I've been saying no for a while, but I confess I'm being drawn in. I think I want to try.....I think I do.....
GIVE ME SQUARE NAILS!!!!
I'M READY!!!

But will this be next?



How will my students see me?


My family?

Is that better than....well...

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Don't look away, gentlemen. You KNOW this is your favored technique for killing insects. Don't pretend you've never sprayed an entire can of this stuff at a one-inch hornet in the corner of the bedroom.

I'm going to tell you something right now. The hornet, the wasp, LOVES hairspray. It LOVES it. It's Chanel Number Five to the wasp, okay? It's like breathing in pure oxygen. This of course raises the somewhat elementary question of whether a wasp actually breathes. Do they have lungs, wasps? Little tiny bellows/alveoli inside a little tiny thorax? Oh Christ, they probably do. I'm sorry I brought it up.

Anyway, this was a topic of a girlfriends' conversation recently. In a group of women I am usually one of the brave ones where bugs and spiders and wasps are concerned. You can hire me to protect you from them. You can watch me kill one with my thumb on the kitchen table (though not the wasp).

And this led to the subject of why a man thinks spraying an entire can of Raid or Pam or Right Guard onto a bug will kill it. You whack it with a magazine and get back to reading your book, that's what you do. I am John Wayne when it comes to this.

On the other side of the spectrum, I am so terrified of snakes that I start crying when I see one. The thought of seeing one will keep me away from a lovely walk in a lovely setting. There is a sign near where I have my hair done that says REPTILES AND BEYOND. It gives me a shiver when I drive by. Whatever would be beyond reptiles would be in the realm of horror movie or true and actual Hell.

I'm seeing a play today, so putting off hammer and toilet seat purchase until tomorrow.

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Am I capable? The old toilet seat, which I will not show, is screwed in. I hate to think of what is turning those screws rusty and which I never noticed until now. More than twenty years of male visitors/children/neighbors/relatives doing their utmost (ahem) to, um, discolor the hardware. The seat also has scratches and marks on it which probably look very suspect to first-time visitors. Oh, the shame.

Let's face it. Men are the ones who cause the damage. I'm not going any further because delicacy forbids.

Yes, it's true and here's another fact. Somewhere in my house lurks a hammer. A real one, big and clunky. Comforting yet menacing. Menacing yet comforting. I have looked high and low for it, all to no avail. But soon I'm going to find it. Know how I know? Because I'm GOING TO BUY A NEW ONE.

The two of them can be friends. Perhaps even lovers.

Hammer lovers (title?)

But THIS hammer I will take care of and won't lose. I know just where it will always live and I will never deviate from that location, as I must have with the old one. I must have leaned back in my repose and said oh what the frig, let me enjoy a few bonbons before I return this hammer to its rightful place. And then I never got around to it. Oh, I was slothful, but no more, dear reader. I am a careful hammer owner from now on.

Off to shop

love,

becky

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Yes, it has started. In truth, the slide begins around Labor Day.

School starts WHIZ

then fall foliage WHIZ WE'RE GOING FAST

followed by Halloween OH MY GOD CAN ANYONE STOP THIS THING

then Thanksgiving HEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!

I'm not going to say where it ends because it's too early for that. The month of December is traditionally dedicated to holiday bitching at CFTE and that will be soon enough.

Doesn't the track look lovely? It's cold enough that it almost deters me from getting out there. But of course, once I do, it warms up and feels great to log those laps.

Last year it didn't really snow until March. Do you ever notice how people love to make dire predictions that don't come true? In August, all you hear is, "they say it's going to be a brutal winter this year." The Farmer's Almanac says blah blah blah.

Screw the Farmer's Almanac. Or Poor Richard's Almanac or whatever it is. I'd rather read Little Richard's Almanac: WIDE OPEN, BABY. NADINE!!! GREAT BALLS OF FIRE!!!

CFTE prediction: NO SNOW UNTIL 08.

NO BAD SNOWSTORMS

NO PLOW GUY NEEDED

I'm basing these statements on the fact that the Patriots are undefeated and the Red Sox won everything.

How far can our luck go?

Be here now, dear reader. It's all good.

A bientot

love,

becky

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At last!!!! Veterans Day weekend!!!! Of course what I really mean is God bless America and all the soldiers and I will even bless the grouchy one who deleted my google picture of a Marine. Don't use our Marine pictures, it says or something like that. And it didn't show up until three days later. Kinda creepy.


But whatever. We're not messing with the Marines here at CFTE.

What can be accomplished in three days?

Well, some say the Big Guy Upstairs managed to create heaven and earth, water, and dry ground in that amount of time. That sets the bar pretty high, I admit.

Three-day bender

Three-day growth of beard (this would be for a man or a way way postmenopausal woman)

Three Days of the Condor (never saw this movie)

Three Day Work Week (this deserves serious thought, especially in higher education)

Three Day Diet (ugh)

Three Day Virus (see Three Day Diet)

Three-Day Romance (see Item #1)


And the winner is? Hmmmmm. Let's think that one over while we enjoy our
F
R
I
D
A
Y

Z
E
S
T
!!!!!

A bientot,
love,
becky

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We normally have this festive event before Halloween, boys and girls, but this year, due to heavensent delirious godfearing World Series baseball, we are having it after.

Okay, here goes. Now don't send me hate mail if your fave doesn't get mentioned. Not everybody gets picked, okay?

Let's start with the obvious. In the beginning there was...................










the Hershey Bar. It's still pretty tasty. A steady diet of this will ruin your teeth like no other.



Of course you have your M&M lovers and they are a naive lot since most of them still believe that the red ones taste different from the yellow ones. I didn't say stupid, okay? I didn't.


Now in the category of M&Ms, there are some flavorful subgroups. One of these is the peanut M&M. I like them okay, but they're hard for me to chew and I feel like Bugs Bunny when I try to do it. Plus you get nuts all in your teeth afterwards and who needs that?

A VERY fine new addition to the M&M family, and one that does not get its just due (I'm not going to say "just deserts" because I'M ABOVE THAT) is the peanut butter M&M. Mmmmm, better than Reese's in this humble root canal victim's heart.

Breaking news: raspberry M&Ms. Three words: Oh. My. God.

Moving on.
Milky Way is a boring candy bar. It has nothing special to recommend it, plus it falls into what I call the "airy" category. It's full of air. It's not dense like Hershey or Dove. Know what I'm saying? Another airy bar is....

Three Musketeers is completely airy and a few have been seen levitating off the ground in certain grocery aisles.


Twix and Kit Kat are the same candy bar. When they get sick of putting the Twix wrapper on at the factory, they switch over to Kit Kat. There's no logic to it and probably has to do with what Muzak tunes are coming in over the loudspeaker. You don't want to be there on the day someone sneaks in a Metallica heavy metal selection. The workers go crazy. It's like when those Japanese kids went berserk watching some of those anime cartoons and had seizures or something. That's the kind of thing Twix and Kit Kat can cause.

Sometimes they end up with something really stupid like ....
and
Clark and Butterfingers are also the same. It gets hard keeping these straight and it's a little like Clark Kent turning into Superman. WAIT. ARE WE DOING CLARK TODAY? WHICH ONE ARE WE DOING? DOES ANYONE KNOW ANYTHING?
Nestle's Crunch has always been a stand-up bar. You get what you pay for. It's a little airy and you can really sense and intuit the Rice Krispies inside, but it's satisfying in the end, especially when you have to lick it off your fingers and hands.

True story: I was once in Cancun, Mexico, lounging on the beach with some friends. Somebody had handed me a Crunch bar and I had opened it and forgotten it. It was resting comfortably on my leg and melting into oblivion when someone saw it and screamed. Delicacy forbids further comment.
I am not into Baby Ruth. They are always stale and the peanuts are loose. They're not embedded firmly into the rest of the candy and I call that disappointing.
Has anyone ever heard of Abba Zabba? It sounds like one of those Iraqi prison camps. One of my friends just told me about it and I'm only including it because I never heard of it. It looks evil. I think they give it to you right before the firing squad aims their rifles at you. You can have a cigarette or an Abba Zabba.
Heath Bars are excellent but are one of the few candy bars that are better in ice cream than they are in real life.

Moving toward the best ones now:



Reese's was the winner last year and in second place this year only because I am so very fond of the peanut butter M&Ms. Reese's Pieces are ever so slightly plasticky in taste.

But number one this year and I'm letting my students determine this.


That's right, four out of five of Motew's composition students picked Snickers for their top bar. So let's have a round of applause while I call my dentist for a cleaning.

Be here now.
A bientot
love,
becky

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