Are You Ready for some Baseball?
Every team that makes the playoffs thinks they will win. T-shirts and hats are printed. Kids skip school. Nuns wave rally towels. [we think that towels are childish in Boston: we prefer singing a Neil Diamond song during seventh inning stretch] People root around in the garage and dig out Infant of Prague statues, put them into strollers, and walk through stadiums chanting. It's exhilarating. The celebrations are poignant and heartfelt, not to mention drunken and debauched. We stand in front of our TV sets and smile like saps.
"Look at So-and-So. Isn't he funny? I wonder how much champagne he can pour in his mouth without choking. That is so cute."
You really have to feel good for the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. They never win anything, do they? Aren't they pretty much a laughingstock? I'm happy for them here, except we will have to beat them and their good times will be over. Hey. They have the good weather. They shouldn't complain.
The Cubbies are getting used to being in the postseason and they look like they're in Chariots of Fire or a slow-mo beer commercial instead of a baseball game. If you had to pick who to root for based on how many people would kill themselves after another loss, the Cubs would be your first choice. They are every year. They've taken over from us and you know something? They are welcome to the honor. We used to have the 86-year curse here in Boston, but we got rid of ours. Good luck to the Cubs, though. I love the way people can watch the game for free on the rooftops near Wrigley.
The Phillies look happy, I guess. I mean they are smiling. But gee whiz, no one is leaping onto anyone's back. No one is crying. They were in last year too, so maybe they are getting used to this also. They look more like a happy bunch of groomsmen at a wedding, don't they? HEY. I JUST WON TWENTY FIVE BUCKS ON KENO. HAVE WE GOT TIME FOR THE BACK NINE BEFORE THE REHEARSAL DINNER? Except for the two on the left, who have just asked each other to slow dance.
This unknown Angel at least looks happy. Maybe not ecstatic out of his mind like the Devil Rays, but grateful to God. It's sort of embarrassing the way the Red Sox always seem to have the Haloes in their back pocket, so I'm sure they want to beat us wicked wicked wicked bad. It's troubling to think of.
Now this is more like it. CC Sabathia and the Brewers are HAPPY. They've got the pulsing adrenaline thing going on. They barely made it in and they will be a Cinderella team too, if they don't fall flat. I find it interesting that champagne is evidently allowed in the clubhouse. I thought maybe only beer would be provided because of their name. Let's be honest. CC was a little soft last year, know what I'm saying? Maybe he should lay off those He-Man dinners.
And here's Manny being LA Manny, shown doing his Stevie Wonder impression. This is troubling also, simply because I do NOT want to see him come to the plate at Fenway. Incidentally, Derek Lowe is pitching their opening game, another former Red Sox player. LA has good weather, movie stars, and Disney Land. They totally do not deserve a baseball championship. Enough said.
And finally, Jonathan Papelbon handing out actual bases to audience members at the Red Sox clinch celebration. You know, I don't think there's anyone anywhere who wouldn't want to party with JP. Bring it, son. The fan shown here is displaying Fenway enthusiasm to the max, possibly even further than the max. He may have an Infant of Prague statue in his car and if you want to make fun of him for it, go ahead. I will wait over here. A lot of us are much calmer now during a postseason run because the curse was broken, let's face it. But we'll build up to it, don't you worry, dear reader.
The last team that will make it won't even be decided until Tuesday. It will be either the White Sox or the Twins. Ho hum. Detroit would have been more fun. Talk about a Rust Belt bad-weather town. Yeah!
Pass the hope, baby.
love,
becky
