My Hoot Skipped A Beat


Lisa sent in this brilliant submission done by Phil Young at Hope Gallery, New Haven, CT.

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Hootsband



Ashley sent in pics of her and her husbands matching tattoos, based on album art for Handsome Furs' Plague Park.

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Bizzaro Mall

Once upon a time there was a perfectly good hill. It was in Berlin, Mass., and it was a hill like about any other, with trees and forests. It wasn't developed. That was the thing. This makes developers nervous. Developers couldn't wait to get their hands on it. A fabulous mall was described to the selectmen of the town and turned down repeatedly by the voters. Repeatedly. Finally, the developers won. Guess how many tenants there are in this one mall? ONE.


But they had to have it.
Guess how ugly it is?
Vastly. It's constructed of rocks and stones and delusions of grandeur. IT HAS A FOUNTAIN! This at least gives you a good laugh when you drive by.




UGH.



FUNNY FUNNY.





Some might even say GROSS.
I guess I must not have been looking when guys were putting this together. They must have had a good laugh too. I'm glad they had jobs for the short time they did.
All this to have what?
One.
More.
Lowe's.
It's all the way up the hill.
A bientot
love,
becky

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Puss In Hoots


This gorgeous reader submission was sent in by Laura, and done by Steve Wood at Ronin tattoo Auckland, New Zealand.

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Girls Hoot Girls

A reader submission roundup, slowly catching up with old emails...today is all-girl Tuesday.
Brittany sent in the above owl, done at Hyperion Tattoo in Depew, NY.


^That's Ashley's shoulder owl.


Owl on Hilary, plus Hilary, done by Tommy Rabid at Agaru Tattoo in Wilmington, DE.


Finally, Mindy sent in the above done by August Moon at Son of a Sailor in Venice, FL.

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Twhoot Dollar Tattoo


Sean Meraw submitted this owl, surely the smallest owl we've ever featured, which is part of the two dollar tattoo project. I'd recommend checking out the site!

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Calories Burned


On a scale of one to ten, my resemblance to Marilyn Monroe at her best remains at approximately zero. My resemblance to Marilyn at her worst is still approximately zero, approaching infinity. In truth, I don't wish to approach infinity just yet.


With nicer weather [HAH!] I am looking for some easy pleasurable ways to burn calories.
sailor-kiss
I would even be willing to wear a nurse's outfit
Haha, only kidding (certainly about the shoes)
.
Barring all this folderol, I am starting down the list at HealthStatus.com.


Aerobics, high impact. That would be a negative. Ain't going there.

Who would volunteer to be in front of me during this exercise? Yeah, that's what I thought.
puppy-sleeping-on-back

Aerobics, low impact. Is that the same as walking? How about reading in bed while bending my leg up and down? Wouldn't that count? 45 minutes of low impact aerobics at my weight burns 308 calories. That's about one Lean Cuisine. Something tells me they're not going to accept my leg-bending technique.

Archery. 30 minutes 116 calories It would probably take me the full 30 minutes to find the right arrow in the quiver (I've always wanted to work with a quiver, though), then another 30 to hold it up across the bow in correct position. Now if I were to hit someone with the arrow and take off running, I suppose that would burn more.

Bicycling. 30 mins of "leisure" bicycling burns 134 calories. God, this is all pansy ass stuff, isn't it? I want something that burns off the fat fast. Plus I only like to go downhill and you can't do that around here.

File:WomanBasketballPlayerNo5.jpg


Basketball, full court, 30 minutes: 371 cals. I suppose that's more like it. But only 371? Yeesh, I could pound down six fudgcicles pretty fast and would their pleasure equal the agony of basketball?
Image


236 calories in 30 minutes of basketball officiating. Could I earn this by sitting in my chair and officiating from home?
"THAT WAS A FOUL!"
"OUT OF BOUNDS, BUDDY."
"WHAT A FREAKING ACTOR!"
If I had a bag of Cheez-Its in my hand, I could eat a few handfuls while I did the officiating. But I'm more honorable than that.

I don't want my reward until after I've earned it.



Thirty minutes of card playing. Dude, I'm there! And that burns 53 calories. Every half hour I can enjoy one crisp Oreo cookie. Deal me in!

But wait. 30 minutes of brushing teeth burns 84 calories. I don't think I can maintain proper brush rhythm for that long. And it would be a shame to eat something afterwards, so what would be the point?

Maybe I should jump right to the big stuff. Boxing in the ring against a real partner: 406 calories. Maybe this is what I need. I hope I get to pick my partner.

I can think of one or two I might not mind bashing. Of course I don't want to get bashed. Nothing is simple.
Hope your springtime is going well, dear reader. Cold and rainy here.
A bientot
love,becky

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Only Revolhootians


Manny, Inkbomb Tattoo

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Hoot Rod



Reader submission from Aubree, done by Gorgeous George at Buddha Box in San Antonio, TX

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Jennifer Lopez Hairstyles





Jennifer Lopez Hairstyles

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Jennifer Aniston Hairstyles




Jennifer Aniston Hairstyle

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Jennifer Love Hewitt Hairstyle : Celebrity Hairstyle





Jennifer Love Hewitt Hairstyle : Celebrity Hairstyle

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How Many Super Bowls Will We Win in the Next Two Years?

tomicecream.jpg

Whew. Glad to hear it. Can't wait.

Isn't it cute that they both like vanilla? Although his ice cream looks like it's wearing a necklace.

Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt

I'm sure the yellow thing hanging out of Angie's dress is symbolic of the fight against something, but I'm not sure what. Maybe dolphins--are we fighting against them? Mice and insects--we should definitely be fighting against them. I would cheerfully wear a yellow sash at all times in favor of that. Bring it.

How many more children will these two have? One rather hates to speculate. Of course they won't stay together. I mean, come on. It's pretty brave of them to come along this far. Imagine if any time day or night that you stick your head out of the house, someone is waiting there to take your picture. I'm sure the first ten years or so were fun.

Jennifer Aniston If Brad goes back to Jen, it will have to be because of her hair. I mean hats off. It's probably like owning a pet, constant work. You can't just sit and watch TV if you have a dog--you have to pick ticks out of its fur. With hair like Jen's, you probably have to be squeezing highlights into it day and night. Fair play to her.

Billy Bob Thornton Angie's ex, actually looking pretty decent here, but still making every girl in America reflect on Angie's choice--WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? Personally, I find Billy Bob sexy in a shriveled up bowlegged repulsive kind of way. Is he bowlegged? Dunno really. Those thin dudes usually are.
You will have to forgive me, dear reader, for low level thinking. It's spring in New England, which of course means bare trees, bare ground, freezing temps, and a few daffodils.
spring-flowers-1 But we'll take anything.
Pablo Picasso, Bloch 1063 Here are the most recent bloopers:
"Abraham and Sarah gave birth to Isaac when he was 100 years old."
"
Fear not little deer, you are safe as long as Brian has the pedal to the medal.
We're talking about lethal does of morphine."
"The emotions pass like days on a colander."
"I shop at Supper WalMart." [you can't get breakfast food there--damn]
"Chris and the disciples are eating at the Last Supper."
"If teachers catch you in the hall without a pass, they give you some kind of disciple treatment."
"A number of states succeeded from the Union and then came back."
A bientot, dear reader.
love,
becky

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