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How much like the prom is Ocar Night? Pretty much completely, isn't it?

It's one night where it's all about the dress. Many great blogs and commentary exist about the Academy Awards 2008 but here's mine. Remember, I don't get out much.

See, I don't think you should do this. It's too much like Queen Isabella launching an explorer's ship. Go with God, Chris, and I hope that rat-infested heap can make it to Aruba. Not only that, but wearing this thing, never mind walking anywhere, and especially never mind having to visit the loo--has to be such a pain. Perhaps the Easter-themed Mars Bar in her hand will serve as a weapon.







I'M JULIE CHRISTIE AND I CAN'T AFFORD AN IRON.

Solidarity

I unequivocally deny any romantic relationship between myself and John McCain.

Never happened. Nuttin', honey. Nada.


I did not meet with John McCain at the Marriott or Motel Six or any time share.

I never wore a Nixon mask with him or a French maid's costume. Neither did he. Not once.


Nor did I have a romantic relationship with George Clooney. I deny it totally.




I did not swim with him in the hotel pool. I did not primp or try to make myself look better in the hotel lighting. I may have bought a swimsuit at Lord and Taylor, but it wasn't for him, okay?

I trust you guys to believe me.


I DID NOT HAVE A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP WITH BRAD PITT AT ANY TIME.

I may have entertained the possibility within my own heart, but hey, blame Jimmy Carter for that. He once said he sinned in his heart over some woman in a magazine, if I remember correctly. Or maybe that was when he collapsed in front of a rabbit and said it was in his heart. Maybe I'm thinking of Alice in Wonderland, come to think of it. But nothing like that for me and Brad.


Are you listening? I also did not have a relationship with this guy.

I so would, though.

Friday's Blooper: "As you get ready to prepare the pizza dough, keep a container of flower handy to sprinkle on the countertop so it won't be too greasy." [Personally, I don't like hydrangeas in my pizza, but everybody's different, you know?]

Enjoy the Zest, dear reader.

A bientot

love,

becky

I know Gordon Brown has not been Prime Minister of England for that long, well, certainly not years and years.

But is he already getting that grouchy look?

Furthermore, doesn't he look an AWFUL lot like...well..
Dudley Moore?

Yes, yes, I know Dudley is dead (am I sounding like Charles Dickens?), but I'm just asking.

Recent bloopers:

"Eating in fast food restraints is not good for you." [I wonder what those look like. I wonder if they're anything like normal psychiatric restraints]

"I worked in a flee market for two years." [But did you ever get away?]

I just read SIGNED, MATA HARI by Yannick Murphy. It was quite good, sensual like syrup. Before that I read THE TRIGGER EPISODE by Tom Straw, a Hollywood story that wasn't bad.

In addition, dear reader, I saw that movie, Old Country for Old Men or A Country for Old Men or Get Out of the Country All You Old Men or whatever the fk it was called. I know some of my buddies here (Sandman!!) really liked the flick, but I fell asleep.

A guy with an oxygen tank goes around killing people. That's about all I could see. Was it in black and white? With no music? It's been widely praised and may win Best Picture? Put me in with Don Shula, I guess. TIME HAS PASSED HER BY.

A bientot. Stay warm, dear reader.
Be here now.
love,
becky

Great joke going around on the Internet and I have to share it.





Chelsea Clinton is spending a weekend or a few days with her parents and while there, goes out on a date with someone. Upon returning home, she encounters Hillary who has a few motherly questions, including "You didn't have sex with that boy, did you?"

"Not according to Dad," Chelsea says.

I laughed out loud at that one. It's a miracle I even saw it because I almost never open joke emails. The people who send them to me know this and they still send them. These are lemming people who can't help themselves, I guess.

The Boston Globe ran a feature recently on the number of celebrity deaths already in 2008.


Suzanne Pleshette was underrated as an actress, I always thought. She was so beautiful and to my eye evoked Audrey Hepburn and Elizabeth Taylor both. She was great with Bob Newhart too, and you could tell he appreciated her.

Margaret Truman is on the list. I admit I thought she was already dead.

The maharishi guy who counseled the Beatles back in the day also has died. I don't what he advised them, but they went whole hog into the drug scene afterwards, so figure it out.

And speaking of drugs, everyone has gone a little crazy over Heath Ledger's death. What a waste. He didn't look like someone who had a lot of demons inside either. If you're handsome and talented and rich, I guess you can still have plenty of problems. Also dead from drugs is Brad Renfro, who played opposite Susan Sarandon in The Client. Remember him? The young kid? He was good.

Bobby Fischer, the greatest of the American chess players, died. My kids used to belong to the chess club at school so I have great respect for BF. Why are Americans generally not known for this skill? Are we too impatient? That's a question for another day.

And finally, Sir Edmund Hillary.




When referring to his ascent of Mount Everest, he famously said he "knocked the bastard off." Gosh, I didn't know he was so good-looking, though you would never catch me trying to climb any mountains. That's why I go to the high school track, because it's freaking FLAT.

There were others on the Globe list, but these are notable to me.

Mid-February, dear reader. Snow cover, cold temps, student essays.

"My nephew weighed ten ponds at birth." I'll bet he was carrying a lot of water weight.

A bientot
love,
becky

Valentine's Day is a holiday for Hallmark and florists. No one else benefits nearly as much as they do.

Having said that, there aren't many problems between a man and a woman that can't be at least partially solved by a dozen long stemmed red roses.

ARE YOU KIDDING? HOW HYPOCRITICAL! DO YOU THINK BIG PROBLEMS SUCH AS LYING AND CHEATING AND GAMBLING AWAY THE MORTGAGE CAN BE SOLVED BY A BUNCH OF MOLDY OLD FLOWERS THAT WILL BE DEAD INSIDE OF TWO DAYS?

Nothing makes a woman feel more special than red roses.



YEAH, OKAY, WHATEVER.


It's particularly fun to receive flowers at work.

YEAH? YOU BETTER HOPE HE ISN'T SENDING A BETTER BUNCH TO SOMEONE ELSE DOWN THE ROW FROM YOU!

Try to remember that red is the color of love.






Don't fall for other shades. White, for instance, stands for purity and innocence.

PURITY AND WHAT? A MAN CAN GET THAT WITHOUT A CREDIT CARD. THIS COLOR BUSINESS IS BULLSHIT. WHAT DOES PURPLE MEAN ANYWAY? SORRY ABOUT THE BRUISES?


Candy is another traditional choice.


A GUY SEES YOU DIETING AND SUFFERING AND SAVING UP CALORIES FOR ONE LOUSY FISTFUL OF DORITOS AND HE SENDS YOU CANDY? NOTHING SHOWS HE ISN'T PAYING ATTENTION TO YOU MORE THAN THIS! OF ALL THE SELECTIONS, THIS COULD BE A TIRE-SLASHING EVENT!

Godiva chocolates are an excellent choice and suggest richness and elegance.




IT MEANS HE WANTS TO SEE YOU NAKED ON A HORSE.

I think I'd better clear out of here, dear reader, as the hordes are becoming restive.

THE WHORES ARE WHAT?

I'm trying to be honest and not tell lies.


Have a great Valentine's Day, whatever comes your way.
A bientot
love,
becky

Today's selection is an exciting new book by GCC author (and pal) Jenny Gardiner. Jenny is one of the good guys!! Her book is SLEEPING WITH WARD CLEAVER, and it's getting tons of attention. Author Meg Cabot called it "A cross between Erma Bombeck and Candace Bushnell." And MamaLit called it "The 'Bridget Jones Diary' for all married and harried mommies!"

ABOUT SLEEPING WITH WARD CLEAVER
American Title III contest winner released to great responses(New York, February 1, 2008) -- Claire Doolittle is not a happy camper. The married mother of five seems to have lost her way in life. Swept off her feet years earlier by Mr. Right, she’s dismayed that husband Jack has turned into Mr. Always Right, and the only sweeping happening in her life involves a broom and a dustpan. Jack’s officious, perfunctory way has left fun, spontaneity and laughter at the doorstep, and Claire is beginning to wonder if she’s actually married to a modern-day version of Ward Cleaver, the stuff-shirted father figure from Leave it to Beaver sitcom fame.

Worse yet, she’s so bogged down by her overwhelming life and so turned off by the idea of getting it on with her stodgy father-figure of a husband, she’s simply blocked out all of her memories of the Claire-who-used-to-be. Cue a former fiancé, who re-enters her life when she desperately needs to figure out who she was, who she is, and who she wants to be. And if she wants to salvage her sagging marriage, or fall back on her old fiancé, who’s wooing her with promises of what could have been. Throw in a predatory hottie from Jack’s office who’s set her sights on Claire’s ho-hum husband, and you’ve got the recipe for a mid-life crisis of epic proportions.Jenny Gardiner’s novel, winner of Dorchester Publishing’s American Title III contest, is sure to lure you into the mundane yet compelling world of Claire Doolittle and will leave you cheering for her marriage.

About Jenny
Jenny Gardiner’s work has been found in Ladies Home Journal, the Washington Post and on NPR’s Day to Day. She likes to say she honed her fiction writing skills while working as a publicist for a US Senator. Other jobs have included: an orthodontic assistant (learning quite readily that she was not cut out for a career in polyester), a waitress (probably her highest-paying job), a TV reporter, a pre-obituary writer, and a photographer (claim to fame: being hired to shoot Prince Charles–with a camera, silly!). She lives in Virginia with her husband, three kids, two dogs, one cat and a gregarious parrot. In her free time she studies Italian, dreams of traveling to exotic locales, and feels very guilty for rarely attempting to clean the house. This makes her okay in my book!!

To buy online, visit Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Powells or any cyber bookseller. For more information, visit Jenny's website at jennygardiner.net.

As for me, incoming!!!

Another round of bloo--I mean papers, is on the way.

A bientot, dear reader

love,becky

Don't know why I can't get that song out of my mind.

It has nothing to do with anything, except maybe we should all cheer up for pete's sake.